Obviously, there are a ton of resorts to choose from on Miami Beach. I spent a lot of time sorting through a bunch of them, trying to find something reasonably priced with a ~vibe~. Bonus points were given for South Beach, since I’ve never actually stayed there. The last time I went to Miami was spring break junior year of college. I stayed for a few days mid-beach; I think at the Edenroc. For this trip, I was ready to have a more grown-up Miami experience that would be memorable and fun.

All the hotels that ended up making the short list were mid-beach, except for Moxy, which was on South Beach and opening 4 days before we were to stay there. It truly was the only hotel in that price range that caught my eye on South Beach. It’s a block back from the beach, but truly not an unreasonable walk in any way. I also always prefer to stay at Marriott Bonvoy hotels, since I already have the points racked up, so it was easy to be tempted. It’s probably a little risky to book a hotel that just opened 4 days ago, but it was a great experience with most, if not all, of the kinks worked out before we stayed. It was nicely located, in walking distance to everything you could want, and right next to a CVS for last-minute things you have forgot. (I left my phone charger in the car this trip and didn’t feel like calling it back from the valet.) 

To start, the Moxy lobby is beautiful. There’s a large lobby bar in the center; a funny foosball table where all the foosball players are donning Sia-esque, colored wigs and bikinis; horoscope readings; a bodega area with snacks and coffee; and plenty of nooks and crannies indoors and outdoors to curl up with a good book, or whatever device catches your attention these days.

The clunkiest parts of the experience at Moxy were check-in/check-out and the valet parking. I would think the check-in process will get a lot smoother once the staff has had more practice—some of the dialogue felt really mechanical and forced, and not everyone had the answers to typical guest questions. Standard for most hotels, check in wasn’t until 3 p.m., so a lot of people want to drop their luggage and head to the beach to get some sun, as did we. Dropping off the luggage initially was fine, but we learned they only gave us one ticket for both pieces of our luggage, and apparently we needed two. Both times we needed to lock up and summon our luggage, it took a really long time to get them back, so some organizational issues there.

We did get complimentary champagne at check-in, which 1. Was a total surprise, 2. Was really good champagne, and 3. Helped me to be less impatient while we waited for our luggage to return to us so we could go up to our room. You could tell all of the staff were really striving for excellence. The bartender was friendly and the overall vibe in the lobby bar was good. People were working from laptops in the lobby, which I also wanted to do at one point, but my laptop was dead and there was not an electrical outlet to be found. 

The valet parking situation is a bit weird—not so much the service as the location and difficulty of finding where the valet station is. There is an alley way between 9th and 10th that absolutely does not look like an entrance to the Moxy, but IS the vehicular entrance to the Moxy. They need some more signs, and probably some language on their website to describe where to drop off vehicles. 

Anyways, logistics out of the way, we started our Miami adventure by dining at the Moxy’s rooftop bar and restaurant, Serena. It was a great start to the afternoon. I decided to indulge and order myself a Pina colada. They were pretty pricey—$15—so I was considering this a birthday treat. After I got it, I quickly learned it was worth every penny of those $15. They were on the rocks, not too sweet and topped with a whipped coconut cream. It was everything I ever dreamed of in a Pina colada. I am not exaggerating. See below for how happy I was. 

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I ordered another Pina colada on Sage because he has never seen this woman so happy before. Our food arrived, which was the perfect serving size for a lunch light enough to go sit in the sun all afternoon, but heavy enough to go sit n the sun all afternoon without any snacks. I had the chorizo huaraches. Delish.

Other restaurants within the hotel weren’t open yet, but they look exciting and just as equally as tasty as Serena. Checking out his Instagram, the head chef seems like he knows what he’s doing. 

After lunch, we headed straight to the beach. Moxy uses a vendor for their beach area, it’s not branded or run by Marriott, and it’s shared with any members of the public who want to pay for the chairs. That’s not really communicated on the website, but it also wasn’t a problem because the vendor, Boucher Brothers, was great. Chairs, umbrellas and towels were $40 for a set of two for those who weren’t staying at the Moxy, or included in the resort fee at the Moxy, which I think is $20-some a night. Honestly, $40 for a set of chairs is pretty reasonable for a day trip to Miami, so I will be noting this for later, if we ever decide to not stay the night, or not stay at a hotel on the beach. 

Ahead of the trip, I decided I wanted to jump on the high-waisted swimsuit bandwagon, even though I’ve struggled to find ones that look right on me. This isn’t a knock to my own self-esteem; I’m just petite, and I think they look better on women with longer torsos. I was pretty happy with this suit from Aerie that I snagged a week or so before we left, so it’s probably still in stores and online now. I also got another one with palm leaves print from Amazon, but ended up not wearing it on the trip. 

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I’m not a huge hanging-out-in-the-water fan when I go to the beach these days, but the water was great when we were in Miami. Perfect temperature, a little aggressive but not too rough that you couldn’t spend time in it. It had me regretting only booking one night. We had a pretty disappointing sunset the evening we were there, AND I didn’t make the connection that at the Palm Beach beaches, you can’t see the sunset because they face east, lol. So zero sunset pics this trip. Gulf coast girl problems. 

Our room was a bit cramped, but like other reviews have pointed out, these rooms aren’t meant for spending time inside them. The view was good, but considering we were on the highest (and what wast touted as the best) floor, we wondered what others’ views were like, since we could just barely see to the water line. Great view from our room though, and I appreciated the bracketed clothes hanging area which served well for hanging up wet bathing suits. Another nice touch was the (tile? Or cement?) flooring, rather than the typical boring hotel carpet. Much easier for cleaning sand, but also the draw back, the sand is super noticeable when you get it on the floor.

For dinner we went to Havana Vieja, a Cuban restaurant inside another hotel literally across the street from the Moxy. I had my heart set on Cuban food and it was nice that this was so close to us, with ambient outdoor seating. We had the chicken empanada appetizer, Sage had a Cubano and I had the paella habanero—a yellow rice dish with shrimp, scallops, crawfish, lobster tail, octopus and mussels. The entree was good, but my favorite choice of the meal has to go to the empanadas. 

The service was pretty slow, so we were there for awhile with one drink each…hoping that someone would take mercy on us and either ask us if we wanted another drink or ask us for the check. It was quite awhile before that happened – and we got the check. Overall: the food was excellent and I’d recommend it if you’re staying in that area, but there are also plenty of other renowned Cuban restaurants to check out in Miami. 

Similar to the Toronto trip, we kind of did the “Eh, where should we go next? Let’s look at what’s close by,” thing and stumbled across Swizzle. Based on the photos I found on Yelp, you would have never thought this place was a speakeasy. Spoiler alert: it’s a speakeasy. But this shit is totally up our alleys. The cocktails were great and we had an extremely friendly and knowledgeable waiter. We didn’t want to linger too long though, because Swizzle was only meant to be a transitional stop.

We were going to head to the rooftop of the Moxy (this is a different rooftop than Serena) for our final stop of the night, but I wanted to give my paltry phone battery some juice, and take a break in the heels I was wearing. We were aiming for a 5 minute break, but we both ended up falling asleep with all clothes and lights on before 11 p.m., waking up at 1:30 a.m. flabbergasted at how old and uncool we were, then going back to bed for the rest of the night. Would have liked to see what the rooftop was like at night, but it is what it is.  I guess this is 30.

The next morning, I was adamant on getting a Cuban coffee and getting breakfast at Bacon Bitch, because I’m clearly obsessed with breakfast sandwich joints that have strongly worded names. The branding was carried through the experience SO well. The servers greeted us with a cheery “Good morning, bitches!” And when checking on our table, they would ask things like, “So are you bitches ready to order?” and “Can I get you bitches anything else?” Needless to say, it was extremely pleasing to me. My bitch sandwich was OK. Sage’s bitch plate with chorizo, hash brown, egg and “bitch sauce” was the real deal, though. If I go back, I’m ordering what he ordered. 

We finally wanted to check out that damn rooftop at Moxy, when sprinkles of rain turned into a good, old fashioned Florida ORDEAL. By the time we got up there, it was sopping and abandoned, but even looking at these photos, you can tell it’s a beautiful space.

Joe’s Stone Crab was on all of the Miami must-do lists, and I love me some crab, so sure, why not, let’s check it out. While things had cleared up, we walked down that way the afternoon we were to check out of the hotel. By the time we got settled and ordered, It was pouring rain again, so we couldn’t go eat in the park as was recommended by the Internet. However, we were lucky enough to snag a table and chairs indoors before the rain crowds swarmed in. The crab roll was very good – it was cold, not hot like a New Englander would have expected from a lobster roll—but a good lunch. I imagine if it had been sweltering hot that day, it would have been very refreshing.

When we got a break in the storm clouds, we walked back to the hotel, grabbed our luggage and drove back to Lake Worth.

My only regret from the trip is not getting a third Pina colada from Serena. 

Do It:

-Stay at the Moxy

-Pina coladas and chorizo tacos at Serena, but all the food on the menu looked good

-Check out Swizzle

-Get a crab roll from Joe’s

Skip It:

-Nothing – I liked all of it. I would order a Bitch Plate instead of a Bitch Sandwich at Bacon Bitch. If you’re not right by it, there are plenty of other Cuban restaurants you can check out besides Havana Vieja. 

I would go back for:

-More time on the beach and in the water

-More restaurants/cafes inland in areas like little Havana and Little Haiti

-More pina coladas at Serena

-More time at the Moxy rooftop and pools, checking out the obelisk 

-The Standard’s spa and topless pool area

-The Versace mansion

-Checking out other Marriott resorts, like The Cadillac

-Ultimate budget goals would be to one day stay at the 1 Hotel or Ian Schrager’s Public. I like both in Manhattan.